Candide - Voltaire - Chapter I

I

HOW CANDIDE WAS BROUGHT UP IN A MAGNIFICENT CASTLE, AND HOW HE WAS

EXPELLED THENCE.

In a castle of Westphalia, belonging to the Baron of

Thunder-ten-Tronckh, lived a youth, whom nature had endowed with the

most gentle manners. His countenance was a true picture of his soul. He

combined a true judgment with simplicity of spirit, which was the

reason, I apprehend, of his being called Candide. The old servants of

the family suspected him to have been the son of the Baron's sister, by

a good, honest gentleman of the neighborhood, whom that young lady would

never marry because he had been able to prove only seventy-one

quarterings, the rest of his genealogical tree having been lost through

the injuries of time.

The Baron was one of the most powerful lords in Westphalia, for his

castle had not only a gate, but windows. His great hall, even, was hung

with tapestry. All the dogs of his farm-yards formed a pack of hounds at

need; his grooms were his huntsmen; and the curate of the village was

his grand almoner. They called him "My Lord," and laughed at all his

stories.

The Baron's lady weighed about three hundred and fifty pounds, and was

therefore a person of great consideration, and she did the honours of

the house with a dignity that commanded still greater respect. Her

daughter Cunegonde was seventeen years of age, fresh-coloured, comely,

plump, and desirable. The Baron's son seemed to be in every respect

worthy of his father. The Preceptor Pangloss was the oracle of the

family, and little Candide heard his lessons with all the good faith of

his age and character.

Pangloss was professor of metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigology. He

proved admirably that there is no effect without a cause, and that, in

this best of all possible worlds, the Baron's castle was the most

magnificent of castles, and his lady the best of all possible

Baronesses.

"It is demonstrable," said he, "that things cannot be otherwise than as

they are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for the

best end. Observe, that the nose has been formed to bear

spectacles--thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed for

stockings--and we have stockings. Stones were made to be hewn, and to

construct castles--therefore my lord has a magnificent castle; for the

greatest baron in the province ought to be the best lodged. Pigs were

made to be eaten--therefore we eat pork all the year round. Consequently

they who assert that all is well have said a foolish thing, they should

have said all is for the best."

Candide listened attentively and believed innocently; for he thought

Miss Cunegonde extremely beautiful, though he never had the courage to

tell her so. He concluded that after the happiness of being born of

Baron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, the second degree of happiness was to be

Miss Cunegonde, the third that of seeing her every day, and the fourth

that of hearing Master Pangloss, the greatest philosopher of the whole

province, and consequently of the whole world.

One day Cunegonde, while walking near the castle, in a little wood which

they called a park, saw between the bushes, Dr. Pangloss giving a lesson

in experimental natural philosophy to her mother's chamber-maid, a

little brown wench, very pretty and very docile. As Miss Cunegonde had a

great disposition for the sciences, she breathlessly observed the

repeated experiments of which she was a witness; she clearly perceived

the force of the Doctor's reasons, the effects, and the causes; she

turned back greatly flurried, quite pensive, and filled with the desire

to be learned; dreaming that she might well be a _sufficient reason_ for

young Candide, and he for her.

She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed; Candide blushed

also; she wished him good morrow in a faltering tone, and Candide spoke

to her without knowing what he said. The next day after dinner, as they

went from table, Cunegonde and Candide found themselves behind a screen;

Cunegonde let fall her handkerchief, Candide picked it up, she took him

innocently by the hand, the youth as innocently kissed the young lady's

hand with particular vivacity, sensibility, and grace; their lips met,

their eyes sparkled, their knees trembled, their hands strayed. Baron

Thunder-ten-Tronckh passed near the screen and beholding this cause and

effect chased Candide from the castle with great kicks on the backside;

Cunegonde fainted away; she was boxed on the ears by the Baroness, as

soon as she came to herself; and all was consternation in this most

magnificent and most agreeable of all possible castles.

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